There is something special about mornings. My heart flutters when I think about one day possibly waking up a little one as the sun comes up, sparking a new day. New adventures. Mornings hold a sense of potential at their horizons, although this morning felt as if the potential had been left on the other side of the earth. As the sun rays beam into my room, indicating the day has started without me, my tired eyes slowly open only wanting to shut again. The drowsy morning and long evenings spent with friends, work, and school tend to easily wear a college girl out. The only problem is that I don’t have time to be tired. Tired isn’t something that fits into my schedule. With the extended to-do list written on my white board, and the planner filled with assignments (that I still don’t know where they all came from), I began to panic. No longer is this morning a lovely smell-the-coffee-brewing morning. This is sweatpants, messy hair, forgetting-my-math-book-out-the-door, and no-breakfast-type of morning. Functioning through these days can be awfully long and exhausting. I can feel my heart tugging at me to slow down, to look people in the eye, to breathe. But in the moment it doesn’t feel like I have time for that.
Thank the Lord for His unending forgiveness and grace for my worrisome little heart. Speed walking through this all-too-busy day, I long for the “rest in green meadows, [and] peaceful streams, [and] renewed strength” that Psalms 23 promises; but that’s far from what I feel. Then with a convicting stab in the heart; I realize that this day isn’t restful because I am choosing my busy schedule over the God that gives rest. The God that brings peace and abundant life. But my long list of things to do are good things. They are to help bring the Kingdom of God to earth. Sharing the Gospel with youth and college students over coffee and Bible studies. Hanging up fliers for weekly events. Running errands for our campus ministry and making agendas for meetings. It’s not that these are bad tasks, they are to further the Kingdom, but when I am striving to do them in my own strength I quickly find myself sinking. But I remind myself that the pool I am falling into is grace. As I repent of my pride and forgetful mind of how much I need my God in every moment to function. I pray Colossians 3:2, that my mind would be focusing on “the things of heaven, not the things of earth.” That He would be guiding my moments and hours, guiding “me along right paths” (Psalm 23:3).
When I live a day surrendered to God, He does amazing things with my schedule. He opens my eyes to seeing people on campus who need encouragement and prayer. He drives me into places of sharing the Gospel. He brings me to peaceful and restful places to renew my mind and heart. He brings in the satisfaction of living a life with a Kingdom mindset and a free soul. Every morning seems to be a choice of who will I serve today, myself or my Creator. But with every victory in choosing my Creator, it becomes less of a drowsy morning and more of a radiant morning.